It is now June 2020, time for an update.
I just received notification that UMass Lowell will be allowing students to attend school but in a limited/modified capacity. Probably let students into the labs and other important participant classes. They are definitely doing many lectures remotely still. The fear here is if they require students to go to school, will they provide masks? Will they enforce mask use? If so, how?
My CNA classes for the summer are a bust. I spent money and applied to many Maine programs but by the time I checked on all my applications after finals, most of the programs were filled. (Note: I applied to the Maine programs because the Massachusetts certification does not carry over to NH or Main but Maine carries over to both.) A couple of them tried to convince me to go to their later Summer programs but they would then go into my Senior year at UMass Lowell. I considered taking a semester or two off since when I came back the Covid crisis would likely be more under control. But missing that time scares me because I don't want to lose the edge my current studying has given me. It's hard to get back into studying after taking an unintended break for the summer, never mind for a year.
I desperately need patient care hours but the pandemic has made it incredibly difficult. I'll likely have to take a gap year before I apply to medical school because of this...hate the idea of a gap year but I'll do whatever needs to be done.
Now as for the Covid-19 pandemic, it has been a rollercoaster ride. I talk to and follow many experts in the field. My epidemiology section of Public Health initially followed the spread of the virus in real time, even when we started remote classes. Cindy and I take this pandemic very seriously. I have a blood clotting disorder that puts me at a higher risk. My father only has one lung due to a lifetime of smoking and having a lobectomy due to lung cancer (and yet he never stopped smoking after).
Here's the problem - my sister Christine has not been social distancing and pulled the "I'm a nurse and I already know all this" card to my text that wasn't even directed at her. My father hates being isolated and does not and has not been following strict social distancing guidelines. The text was sent to everyone in the immediately family regarding getting together on Fathers Day. My brother laughed at us when I told him we would be staying isolated for as long as we need to to keep our families safe. Lynne posted a photo of them on Facebook on Memorial Day weekend out partying with their friends on a boat. I can honestly say I saw the current situation coming a mile away.
My father contacted me and gave me less than a day to come to his house and help him open the pool. Keep in mind the pool isn't for him, it's for everyone else to come over and use (during a pandemic). I was exhausted, when he called and was in the middle of my own house project so I asked if I could do it on Sunday instead. I would not be coming inside the house and I would be wearing a mask and gloves. "NO! We are going to see Charlie on Sunday! I"m asking you to inconvenience yourself and come help us tomorrow!". I was very uncomfortable with the idea of going to his house. I would be exposing both families and increasing their risk. He kept building up to being more forceful in our call. So I had it at that point and replied "You're not asking me, you're telling me!" I had already made our feelings about social isolation known to everyone but he obviously wasn't having it. He then hung up on me.
If you don't know my father, while he does care about us, you always have the looming prospect that if you voice too loud of a dissenting voice...that he will cut you off from all communication. He knows how to hold a grudge. I went to an Uncles funeral that I was surprised had still been alive because I assumed he had died in the 1970's since we hadn't heard a thing about him since then. He has stopped talking to my brother for about a year at one point when they had an argument.
So I texted him within the hour with a compromise: "If you want me to, I will come over tomorrow after I pick up my car. Yes I will have a mask on but I’m not planning to come in. The last thing I want to do is pass anything on to you. Please know that I love you as always."
His reply: "That’s OK. Will do without"
No surprise there, but I pushed forward:
"How about I come over and just help for a little while then?"
He replied "With the attitude you’ve been showing I prefer you not helping us"
and that was that. Two days before I was hailed as his savior for helping him fix his computer and new iPhone issues remotely, today I was dirt.
Unfortunately, this situation illustrates a larger problem with the pandemic. There are people who take protecting others from infection seriously and the others who think we've isolated long enough and there are many levels in between. At some point, there had to be a reckoning where these groups will not agree.
In our situation, I have little doubt that I will continue to receive pressure from my family. My brother will take his usual tactless aproach and make fun of us. My sister will act like she is taking a middle ground while dismissing us. My father will push the idea that I'm trying to avoid him.
In my fathers defense, I know that he misses me as we have grown much closer over the past 20 years. He is also in constant pain because of his almost complete femoral occlusions. His is exploring surgical options and is scared. If they let him have the surgery, there's a chance he may not survive it. If they don't let him have the surgery, then his only option is to try to live in constant pain. He does not want to keep living like this so we're hoping he is allowed to go into surgery.
My father "allowing" me to communicate with him is completely out of my control. Having seen him do this so many times in the past, I'm actually feeling ok about it. If the worst does happen, I still know he loved me. But I'll be damned if I'm accidentally the one who get's him sick to lead to that end.
I just received notification that UMass Lowell will be allowing students to attend school but in a limited/modified capacity. Probably let students into the labs and other important participant classes. They are definitely doing many lectures remotely still. The fear here is if they require students to go to school, will they provide masks? Will they enforce mask use? If so, how?
My CNA classes for the summer are a bust. I spent money and applied to many Maine programs but by the time I checked on all my applications after finals, most of the programs were filled. (Note: I applied to the Maine programs because the Massachusetts certification does not carry over to NH or Main but Maine carries over to both.) A couple of them tried to convince me to go to their later Summer programs but they would then go into my Senior year at UMass Lowell. I considered taking a semester or two off since when I came back the Covid crisis would likely be more under control. But missing that time scares me because I don't want to lose the edge my current studying has given me. It's hard to get back into studying after taking an unintended break for the summer, never mind for a year.
I desperately need patient care hours but the pandemic has made it incredibly difficult. I'll likely have to take a gap year before I apply to medical school because of this...hate the idea of a gap year but I'll do whatever needs to be done.
Now as for the Covid-19 pandemic, it has been a rollercoaster ride. I talk to and follow many experts in the field. My epidemiology section of Public Health initially followed the spread of the virus in real time, even when we started remote classes. Cindy and I take this pandemic very seriously. I have a blood clotting disorder that puts me at a higher risk. My father only has one lung due to a lifetime of smoking and having a lobectomy due to lung cancer (and yet he never stopped smoking after).
Here's the problem - my sister Christine has not been social distancing and pulled the "I'm a nurse and I already know all this" card to my text that wasn't even directed at her. My father hates being isolated and does not and has not been following strict social distancing guidelines. The text was sent to everyone in the immediately family regarding getting together on Fathers Day. My brother laughed at us when I told him we would be staying isolated for as long as we need to to keep our families safe. Lynne posted a photo of them on Facebook on Memorial Day weekend out partying with their friends on a boat. I can honestly say I saw the current situation coming a mile away.
My father contacted me and gave me less than a day to come to his house and help him open the pool. Keep in mind the pool isn't for him, it's for everyone else to come over and use (during a pandemic). I was exhausted, when he called and was in the middle of my own house project so I asked if I could do it on Sunday instead. I would not be coming inside the house and I would be wearing a mask and gloves. "NO! We are going to see Charlie on Sunday! I"m asking you to inconvenience yourself and come help us tomorrow!". I was very uncomfortable with the idea of going to his house. I would be exposing both families and increasing their risk. He kept building up to being more forceful in our call. So I had it at that point and replied "You're not asking me, you're telling me!" I had already made our feelings about social isolation known to everyone but he obviously wasn't having it. He then hung up on me.
If you don't know my father, while he does care about us, you always have the looming prospect that if you voice too loud of a dissenting voice...that he will cut you off from all communication. He knows how to hold a grudge. I went to an Uncles funeral that I was surprised had still been alive because I assumed he had died in the 1970's since we hadn't heard a thing about him since then. He has stopped talking to my brother for about a year at one point when they had an argument.
So I texted him within the hour with a compromise: "If you want me to, I will come over tomorrow after I pick up my car. Yes I will have a mask on but I’m not planning to come in. The last thing I want to do is pass anything on to you. Please know that I love you as always."
His reply: "That’s OK. Will do without"
No surprise there, but I pushed forward:
"How about I come over and just help for a little while then?"
He replied "With the attitude you’ve been showing I prefer you not helping us"
and that was that. Two days before I was hailed as his savior for helping him fix his computer and new iPhone issues remotely, today I was dirt.
Unfortunately, this situation illustrates a larger problem with the pandemic. There are people who take protecting others from infection seriously and the others who think we've isolated long enough and there are many levels in between. At some point, there had to be a reckoning where these groups will not agree.
In our situation, I have little doubt that I will continue to receive pressure from my family. My brother will take his usual tactless aproach and make fun of us. My sister will act like she is taking a middle ground while dismissing us. My father will push the idea that I'm trying to avoid him.
In my fathers defense, I know that he misses me as we have grown much closer over the past 20 years. He is also in constant pain because of his almost complete femoral occlusions. His is exploring surgical options and is scared. If they let him have the surgery, there's a chance he may not survive it. If they don't let him have the surgery, then his only option is to try to live in constant pain. He does not want to keep living like this so we're hoping he is allowed to go into surgery.
My father "allowing" me to communicate with him is completely out of my control. Having seen him do this so many times in the past, I'm actually feeling ok about it. If the worst does happen, I still know he loved me. But I'll be damned if I'm accidentally the one who get's him sick to lead to that end.